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About Photography / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Jocelyn Santoyo Liahut32/Female/Mexico Groups :iconnature-inspiration: Nature-Inspiration
 
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When it rains you... 

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Confusion

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 3:37 PM
Tengo bastantes pensamientos en la mente, y si he de ser honesta, esto es realmente algo mas normal y constante que una rareza en los diferentes instantes que conforman mi existencia.
 
Entre sueños nocturnos complejos y las incontables historias que ocurren sólo en mi mente a lo largo del día (aún mientras realizo una o dos actividades a la vez), experiencias que muchos llaman soñar despierto, tener mucha imaginación o vivir en un mundo interno, el día de hoy me siento un poco incomoda con esta sensación de confusión.

Hoy me siento extraña ante mi propia historia, o mas bien debería decir sobre los recuerdos de lo que he vivido y experimentado física, mental, espiritual y emocionalmente. Puedo recordar mucho, he olvidado mucho y sin embargo tengo tantos recuerdos que suelen regresar a diario en destellos con emociones intensas para luego desvanecerse con el mismo sigilo con el que se acercaron a mi mente consciente.

La vida como la conozco es cambiante, y siento que seguirá siendo así. Si llego a desear o anhelar algo desde un punto especifico de mi ser, que no se describir con palabras pero que se que esta en mi interior, lo que me rodea cambia y obtengo lo que quiero, sin embargo no es algo que dirija conscientemente. Solo se que es algo que ha sucedido a lo largo de mi vida y muchas veces me doy cuenta de mi deseo al verlo realizado.

"Ojos verdes", ese es el susurro que pude identificar hoy, y no lo comprendo del todo, aunque quizá mi subconsciente lo tiene mas claro. 

Tengo miedo a veces, de los cambios, de la falta de cambios, de lo que soy y no soy. Miedo de lo poco que otras personas pueden entenderme en ocasiones y de lo poco que a veces puedo entender a otras personas. 

Soy feliz con eventos y cosas simples. Y sin embargo hago de cosas simples cosas grandes. Lo cual llega a ser de bueno a extraordinario, o a veces no tan bueno e incluso en ocasiones termina siendo bastante agotador e innecesario. Aunque seria necesario para que llegara a la conclusión de que no lo era ¿no? ¿O es una buena excusa al menos?

Y esto es solo un fragmento de unos breves momentos de pensamientos...

Me siento agradecida por todo lo que tengo y lo que he llegado a ser (sea como sea y en cuantas formas sea).

Hasta otra ocasión entonces

.............................................................................................................................

I have many thoughts in my mind. And being honest this is really something more normal and constant that a rarity in the different moments that create my existence.

Among complex dreams and countless stories that happen only inside my mind throughout the day (even while doing one or two activities at once). Experiences that many may call daydreaming or a colosal imagination ore ven living in an inner world. Today I feel a little uncomfortable with this feeling of confusion.

Today I feel strange to my own story. Or I should say strange about the memories of what I have lived and experienced physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I can remember a lot. I have forgotten much. And yet Ido have so many memories that often return to me in flashes with intense emotions and then vanished as silently as they approached my conscious mind.

Life as I know it changes. And I feel it will remain changing. If I want or wish something from a specific point of my being (some place I can not  describe in words but that this inside me) everything around me changes and I get somehow what I want. But it's not something  I can do consciously. Only it's something that has happened throughout my life and often I realize my desire when I see it realized.

"Green Eyes" that was the whisper that could identify today. And I do not quite understand it but perhaps my subconscious does.

I'm scared sometimes. Scared of changes. Scared of the lack of changes. Of what I am and what I am not.  Afraid of how little other people may understand me sometimes and how little I can understand other people sometimes.

I am happy with simple things or events. And yet ocassionally I make of simple things big things. Which sometimes becomes good or great things. But some other times they become into not so good, tiring and unnecessary things.

Although it would be necessary to come to the conclusion that it was not necessary right? Or is it at least a good excuse?

And this is just a fragment of a few moments of my thoughts today...

I am grateful for everything I have and with what I have become (in every way and as many ways it is).

Until another time





  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Marika Takeuchi

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Mon-Etoile-Filante
Jocelyn Santoyo Liahut
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
Mexico
By definition I'm complicated... but I'm fine with that, my felings are strange to me sometimes but they're mine.

I'm a dreamer, remember almost every dream I have and dream almost every night.

I love nature because I grow up surrounded by it.

I can get lost looking to the sky, I'm specially linked to wind.

I also love my spoiled pet Mei, a young female dog American Staffordshire Terrier.

As someone told me...

If you can't make it with one breath, then just breathe twice
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thanks for the fav on:

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Thank you for the fave on Aggstein IV, Jocelyn!
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Thanx for the fav
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Thanks for all the :+fav:s! 
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