The Spectacular Now

"Shit’s happened. Stuff’s happened, sure, but stuff always happens, right? But the real challenge in my life, the real hardship, is me. It’s always been me. As long as I can remember, I’ve never not been afraid. Afraid of failure. Of letting people down. Hurting people.  Getting hurt. I thought if I kept my guard up and focused on other things, other people… If I couldn’t even feel, well, then no harm would come to me. I screwed up. Not only did I shut out the pain, I shut out everything. The good and the bad. Until there was nothing. It’s fine to just ”live in the now”. But the best part about “now” is there’s another one tomorrow. And I’m gonna start making them count."

From a  film by James Ponsoldt I just saw.
I loved this words. I've been there.